Emory Orlich

"'If someone tries to pull a drive by on you whip out the flamethrower and give""them the business' - Emory, 2020" "'My balls are on fire' - Emory, 2020" "'Welcome back to anus review where we analyze anus things' - Emory, 2020" "'I think my heart just stopped' - Emory, 2020"

Backstory
Emory was born in Wa, a small town in northern Ghana.

Soon after Emory was born his village had gotten into a very harsh tribe war, Emory, the heir apparent of his Tribe was sent into exile for 2 years. Whilst in exile the heir apparent of the opposing tribe, Cassie, she and Emory got into a bitter rivalry at only age 3.

Emory v. Cassie Affair
Continuing until his death, Emory and Cassie have been bitter rivals. After the end of the tribal wars in Wa as recollection there was to be a royal marriage between the two. In result to that Cassie moved back north to Burkina Faso, but Emory was so disgusted by the proposal he move half-way across the world to the United States all on his own with only a wooden plank and a handful of dirt that would temporarily grow grass for him to feed on.

Life in America
After 5 years of drifting across the Atlantic Ocean, Emory found himself in Corpus Christi, Texas. Due to Emory's skin color he was soon after deported by Ted Cruz himself to Mexico.

Emory was able to escape back to America in only the matter of 34 minutes. While in the arid desert lands of southern Texas Emory spotted two people with a daughter on vacation. Emory followed the family for a few days and then snuck into the trunk of the car. The road trip was quite harsh and lasted for about 3 days. Once the car stopped Emory snuck into the house, to his own surprise the family sort of just let him live there.

Over the years the mother of the house hold started becoming suspicious of Emory, which resulted in harsh punishments such as a bedtime of 7:30 PM until he was 13 in which he then was finally granted a 8:30 PM bedtime, as well as being forced to own a Wii U for multiple years.

Academics
Emory was soon enrolled into the 3rd Grade when he was adopted. He befriended a boy named Duncan, through the years he would befriend more colleagues, including Seth B, Joshua, and his future lover Dalton. Another note is that in the 8th grade, Emory founded the multi-billion dollar beauty company, Orlice Natural Gels.

Emory would narrowly pass Highschool though get immediately enrolled into Harvard for mostly unknown reasons. While Emory tended to struggle at times in Highschool, he would finish with 4 PhD's in Gynecology, Archaeology, Astronomy, and Engineering.

Presidency
Emory ran for president in the year 2052, despite having no experience he won in a landslide against Cayden Robbins. Emory's presidency lasted 7 years with the last 4 years or so being a police state. After Emory lost the 2059 election he was exiled back to Ghana.

Return to Ghana
After a swift boat ride to Ghana, Emory was seen as a national hero.

Kingship
Soon after his arrival Emory was appointed as King of Ghana. During his reign he ordered the execution of his childhood rival Cassie as well as his mortal enemy Hatsune Miku, after the executions Emory would bathe in the blood of the executed in public. In his kingship Emory notoriously bought the State of West Virginia from the United States for 37 dollars and a 6 pack of Fanta. Emory claimed he bought the state as that is where the headquarters of Orlice Gels was, which he wished to visit. Soon after Emory would find out that 37 dollars was the entire national fund of Ghana. Due to this his approval rating plummeted to a mere 96%. Emory, ashamed would abdicate the thrown to his son Duncan, who had never visited in Ghana, and was soon after his coronation was decapitated for being white.

Death
Emory moved to the Ghanese overseas territory of West Virginia, While Emory would retain CEOship of Orlice Gels, he started getting very little income from the job. Because of that at the age of 71 Emory applied for a job at a local balloon factory. Emory would work there for the rest of his life nearly 24/7 until his death after non-stop inhaling helium for 15 years straight. His voice sounded funny whilst he said he last words "Gay Porn".

Extra Info
At the age of 10 Emory was beaten with a stick for 14 hours non-stop by his mother for trying to play the Sims 4, a game rated T for Teen.

Emory temporarily died after dressing up as a demon girl for Halloween once.

Emory once got a Lego minifigure stuck in his hair for a while.